So =wheaman *Mr-Catastrophical ~marco59 and I will be leaving shortly to San Antonio. My mother had one place she always wanted to go to there, The Riverwalk. We have been to San Antonio a million times but we always went to Six Flags, Sea World or somewhere else, never there. We were gonna go on our way back from our trip to the Grand Canyon, but we were so tired and wanted to see our dogs, so we came straight home. This year just wasn't a good year financially so we never got to go. We will be taking some of her ashes to spread tonight or tomorrow sometime along the Riverwalk somehow/someway. I don't know what spot or whatever, but I'm sure we will know it as soon as we find it. Its been the plan since she passed away. Now its time to handle our part and give the remaining ashes to my family to do with as they wish.
I was trying to doze off last night and I was dreaming about my mom. I dreamed she was in my grandma's house, walking into the room. I could hear her voice in the dream. I woke up and grabbed my phone and called her phone so I could hear her voice on the voice mail. Its been a long time since I've done that. I guess today we move along in the grieving process.

Hilarious newspaper headlines. [link] This site is hilarious.

Contest closed, here are the entries & some of the features.

*flowkradd


Because a friend of a friend of mine once went on a date. He showed up at a girls house and shat his pants on her doorstep. Undeterred he proceeded with the date saying he had to stop by walmart though and pick up something for his brother (where he really bought a shirt and pants apparently because just buying pants was "suspicious"). He told the cashier to just throw the shirt out.. but she instead only put the shirt in his bag unbeknownst to him. So then when his date and he got on the train (public transport) he went to the bathroom took off his shat in pants and threw them out the window only to discover he had no spare pants..

Bravely in the face of extreme circumstances he fled through the the bathroom window of the moving train and ran home 5 miles.

he never had another date with the girl.

I was that man...

=georgia-conroy


The reason you should give me...well whoever i decided to give it to...because one day while looking in your local porno store you came across a very adventurous toy that could shake your whole world but alas you did not have the money to pay for it with all the competitions you have been hosting. So instead you thought you would try to sneak it out the shop...now we won’t go in to where you put it in...i mean on your person to hide it but you got it out and in your delight you didn’t realise that the guy who owns the porno store had been watching and your toy had a remote to operate it... Well while you were walking out of the store to your car he had been following you discreetly. He watches you enter your car in the Wal-Mart parking lot and start to pull away. The owner started to grin as you drove past him which is when he turned the “toy” on pulse. Now you can imagine your shock at discovering the toy working without you doing a thing and this causes you to swerve and crash into Wal-Mart. You jump out the car clawing at your cloths to try and remove the toy and when you finally remove it you get your bearings... Standing naked in the centre of a group of onlookers you see you cannot escape in your car as it is badly damaged and decide to run/streak away and hide. Seeing a quiet bar around the corner you run inside and scream for something to cover you up with. The bar man looks at you in shock but a lovely young gentlemen offers you his coat. Thanking him kindly you ask if he has a cell phone to call someone to pick you up and he complies. While waiting for a friend to pick you up you guys get to talking and admiring his handsome young body over a couple shots of Vodka. Your friend turns up soon after and the young man catches her eye. Jokingly you say you’ll sell him to her for $50 as a birthday present but unknown to you the bar was actually under surveillance because it was well known for it’s Mexican prostitution ring!
Just at that point a raid occurs and you are brought in to the cop shop for:
For being Mexican and without papers
Date molestation
Prostitution
Public Intoxication

But luckily you are let out soon after because the surveillance shows the circumstances. While you and your friend drive home you hit some traffic and fly into a rage and reach across to the steering wheel to honk the horn and scream out the window. Unluckily you are caught by a police officer walking by and he brings charges you with:
Road rage!

Even more unlucky is that fact that this is the officer who had dealt with the crash of your car into Wal-Mart and he recongnised you from your liecense photo in the wallet you left at the scene. Now he has to bring you in on:
Stealing adult novelty toys
Crashing into a Wal-Mart
Streaking

Now the reason why i think you should give me the subby is that you had one awful day and maybe you can make someone else’s day better or at least donating a subby means you are out of trouble for 5 min lols

=timgander



I believe I shall earn my subby for two reasons: 1) I will make Jen pee herself 2) I will make Jen laugh, though not necessarily both at the same time. It depends if she reads this article on the loo.

Instructions to Jen. Before reading this article, please drink a gallon of water, followed by a large mug of caffeinated coffee. Now jump up and down for 3 minutes. Wait 20 minutes. Print this article and read it on the loo with taps running.

This is a dictionary of dA comments and their actual meanings.

Comment / Meaning

Nice capture! / Nice tits!

Lovely lighting! / Really nice tits!

Fabulous! / Fabulous breasts!

Nice use of light and shade. / Yeah, it's a photo. Why does she have clothes on?

Love the black and white! / Prefer colour when I'm playing with myself.

Love the bokeh on this. / I have no idea what that is, but it makes me
sound like I know lots about photography. Shame I can't see her tits though.

Nice angle! / I can almost sea her undersmile!

Love the angle! / Bingo!

Interesting angle Come on! / We can't see her tits and/or lady-garden!

Faved! / Mum's coming up the stairs and I want to look at this later.

Wow! / I just soiled my briefs.

Is this you? / I need to know so I can stalk you

/ I'm stalking you!

I'm watching you! / No, literally. Look out your window.

/ hrhrhrhrhrhrrrrr...

Nice tits! / This is a terrible photo.

Clean up, flush, wash hands...

Hope all that makes sense now

*GJ-C



She stuffed them into her pants....6 of them to be exact. The purses jutted out of the pants, and were almost falling out. She ran out the door past the security and almost tripped over the carpet. When the alarm sounded, the guard tried to grab her but she got past him. The getaway vehicle sped around the corner. She opened the door and jumped. She missed-----and ended up flat on her face

The driver was looking around and saw her disapear after opening the door. Panicking after seeing the guards rushing over he put the car into reverse and heard,"Ah DAMN IT, YOU MORON YOU RAN ME OVER!!"

uh-oh

All of a sudden out of nowhere, She flopped onto the hood of the car. It was like a horror movie where the zombie jumped onto the car to get you..and the only thing you did was...press the gas.The zombie went fell off the car and was rolled over by the car with a, "thunk thunk" Oh crap...he ran her over again.
He thought she was dead and wasn't going to wait for the security to catch up with him so he drove off but heard a skidding and sliding sound outside the passenger door when he drove across the parking lot, so he paused for a second and the door slowly opened. She had been hanging on for dear life and climbed into the car. They then sped off.....a personal check few out the window and onto the sidewalk, right in front of the security guard.

=gurugu-mawaru


A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Lol. Since I offered 4 subby's and I got one more offer for one, technically, everyone won. I'll need the winners to send me (via note) 3-5 pics for me to feature. Yay. I am not gonna give the subby's yet until I talk to everyone individually cuz I know of at least 1 person who is gonna donate theirs.

eARTh #2: "Save the Energy" Winners:
1st Place:

_{how to save earth: save energy by ~rob-jr}
Two Runner Ups: (in no respective order)

<sub>Save Energy - Eat Light Bulbs by ~zeduckmaster

Golden Energy by ~dai-hima</sub>



My redbubble [link]